I used to

I used to love a little
I used to be smart
I could but I didn’t
and it seemed a lot

I thought it wouldn’t matter
but now I know it did
in the middle of this clutter
I was the only one clean

Rainy days are sometimes for forgetting
washing of the dirt from the past
letting go everything unsetting
accepting that it’s not meant to last

I used to care about people
their hopes and dreams
now I see deeper
frantic stupid fears

Love is but a word
to so many so it seems
how is it so absurd
to die for your dreams

Sunny days are sometimes better sleeping
blinds drawn and no one in sight
These times I build confidence for taking
all my inner beauty to your light

I’ll be a little better
Day by day
everything will mater
just not today